A cousin [a brother rather] had lost a wife. People were being exhorted to contribute to funeral expenses. The trouble was that she did not come from our tribe and there a few ‘rituals’ to be conducted before she could be buried among her husband’s people.
The conversation degenerated into why we should marry ‘within,’ preferably a stone thruway for your home. They turned to, a bachelor, and told me as if to warn me, not to get a girl from another tribe. Looking back, I think there are reasons for this.
A wedding or a koito (an equivalent of ruracio) is a community affair among the Kalenjins. The entire community wants to be part of it. Taking a bride from far robs them of an opportunity to be part of the ceremony.
Kalenjin don’t like traveling a long distance
In my entire life, I have never met a Kalenjin who wants to travel forty days and nights. Not in the least to ensure that someone gets a wife. Or a wife is given to another. Sometimes it is inevitable though, but then you will hear people complaining about pains in particular areas of their bodies. And they will talk about that deplorable lodging they put up in.
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Each tribe has its own traditions. Some of them may not be in tandem with another. As such a Kalenjin will always look for traditions that match his because we do not want complexities at later times. Even though traditions have declined over time, some families still follow them.
A cousin of mine was marrying a girl from the Mt. Kenya region. It is said that he was discouraged against the move but stuck his guns. Girls from that region do not enjoy immunity from the precedence they’ve set, concerning violence and other things.
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